We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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