have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
