it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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