I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
