You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i may or may not be watching the land before time
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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