Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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