I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
