I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize