dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
