dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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