it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
