you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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