quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
