dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
