they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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