I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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