Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
