I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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