I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
