covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
