yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
