New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
it glows. i had to have it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
