i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
