brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
