is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
