Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
