We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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