but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize