whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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