i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
