I feel like abortions should bother me more
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
