There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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