I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize