I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
