Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
