I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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