I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
