I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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