Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
