wrigley field is MILF paradise
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
