it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
