Already got asked if we're dating
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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