just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
