Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
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My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
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Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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