I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
