haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
