even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
