I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
