he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
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I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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