Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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