we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
