If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
