I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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