shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
oh god the rape fog is back!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
