yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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