Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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