I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
