I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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